Explore Women's Sex & Find Out How She Gets Turned on

Understanding the inner workings of the female body can be daunting. From where to actually find the clitoris to wondering exactly what the uterus does, to how being a woman (or being with one) can be as complex as the body is, BrightFire has brought you the perfect app to learn how everything works together and how to get the female body up and going.

If you've been searching for an app that you can tap into anytime you want, Explore Women's Sex is the iphone app you've been searching for. A sexual education app that is educational, while fun. Learning about a woman's anatomy has never been so sexy and fun.

Explore Women's Sex offers a "notes" section that is an A to Z on dictionary of what each word and part means, but best of all each word and part offers a diagram with clear labels. Making finding out more about what buttons to push to get her ready to go easier than ever. They say women don't come with directions, but now, thanks to Explore Women's Sex, they come with exactly that. The "notes" dictionary spans from the Anal Sphincter Muscle all the way down to the Vulvovaginal glands. Not enough? Try the tips section! Where you'll find 10 ways to best stimulate a woman's clitoris and turn her on (including tips on sensitivity and arousal).

My favorite part is the "Cliteracy Quiz" (best name for a quiz I've ever read), which has a fun and serious side to test your cliteracy (clit literacy).



If you're looking to dive deeper into the world of women's sex and learn more about the inner workings of your own body (or the body of your partner) Explore Women's Sex iphone app is well worth the $2.99 to learn how to give yourself or your partner an amazing orgasm. All women want is a man who really understands them, show your lady you know exactly how she likes to be touched and that her pleasure comes first.

Read More

Why Sex & The City was bad for women

For six years we all tuned in and watched the lives of four glamorous New York ladies from our shitty couches. It fueled ideas of grand plans, sex-capades, and the fairytale that four women could somehow fucking get along and not bang each others husbands. Down that Cosmo, ladies, because none of this shit is true.

1: You're not a Carrie, Miranda, Charolette, or Samantha; you're a slut.

I'm all for sexual empowerment. Own your genitals, RAWR, but don't use some fakey whores ( or pseudo-whore in Charlotte's case) as your vaginal inspiration to go out in search of strange dick. Basing your weekends on fictional characters isn't just dangerous, it's pretty fucking sad. And MOST guys don't want to fuck pathetic unless tequila is involved. You don't need Samantha's approval to be a slut, YOU CAN BE A SLUT ALL ON YOUR OWN! Buy a dress a few sizes too small, find a local bar, and abandon any hope of the sex being good, ladies, you're embracing your inner slut for YOU!

2: You cannot make it in New York City as a columnist. I repeat, YOU CANNOT MAKE IT IN NEW YORK CITY AS A COLUMNIST!
So, you spent your childhood dreaming of writing, worked hard in school, and now want to take the Bradshaw-challenge of trying to be a real New York City columnist. Don't. For starts, that bitch couldn't afford her apartment, let alone designer shoes, on a columnist budget. Maybe you have a sugar daddy who will supplement your meager $30,000 earnings? Great, you're still never going to make it. Take it from me; you can blow half of the New York Times and still never see your work printed. Why? No one gives a shit what you have to say. Stay in your shitty town and work customer service.

3: Whore-couture is just a whore in overpriced shit
Dressing like a call girl is rarely attractive on hot women and never attractive on middle-aged whores. While club attire certainly has its moments ( and by moments I mean when everyone involved is wasted), it shouldn't be worshiped and embraced like a god damn lifestyle. A religion can be a lifestyle, dressing like Samantha Jones is a cry for help. Why not just replace that crop-top with the words DADDY ISSUES painted across your tits? Samantha wondered why professionals wouldn't take her seriously, but dressed like she just popped out of a cake. As a large breasted female I admit to accentuating what I've got, but there's a fine line between flaunting and flashing and Samantha often humped that line.
If you now find all your dreams dashed by the crushing reality that a television show wasn't real, ask yourself why you had such shitty fucking dreams. I'm not asking you to aspire to be president, but do more than fantasize about trying to live up to four sluts exaggerated lives.
....And give more blowjobs, just trust me on this one.

Read More

Guaranteed ways of getting a job after college

If it's hard out there for a pimp, imagine how hard it is out there for someone who doesn't supervise young women, VERY hands on in the field, working in salacious recreation (with experience in debt collection).

The economy sucks and jobs are few and far between. Especially straight out of college, no matter what your degree, you're pretty much looking at a part time gig at Kinkos (if you're lucky).

College is basically just paying $80,000 to learn how to be a functioning alcoholic. While you may have learned a thing or two in your field, you mostly just learned how to kiss ass and pull off a decent paper with a six hour deadline and a tequila hangover.


Guaranteed ways of getting a job after college: 


1: Lying, with style
Technically all out lying on your resume can get you into a lot of trouble, but it's all about the semantics. The fine print of how you word things to make yourself sound far more important than you are. Example:
Truth: I created and tested systems
Resume lie: Designed, developed, and analyzed systems.
I call this the "Does this make me look fat?" of resumes. Just like when your girlfriend asks that loaded question & your brain is flashing "LIE, LIE, LIE", your resume is sending off those same reactions. If you've told a girl you had an eight inch penis (and you know you have), what's the difference in telling an employer you were upper management for a few years? Lying about work history on your resume is the "I have a 12 inch dick, baby" of the employment world


2: Sex, it runs the world

Sex sells. Sex also can be used as a way to get hiring managers to remember you best out of all the people they interviewed for a position. Qualifications can only get you so far, education has become a dime an in debt dozen, but fucking the hiring manager on top of their desk while quoting 50 Shades of Grey is showing not only passion and dedication, but drive to stop at nothing to achieving your goals.


3: Blackmail/Death threats

I'm a firm believer of when all else fails, break a kneecap. Maybe it's the Irish rage I have or all the Grand Theft Auto I used to play, but few things motivate people like fear. Bribery will only get you so far (and let's be honest, if you're looking for work, you probably don't have much cash and your Panera rewards card won't seal the deal) and some people, for some fucking reason, can't be bought. But, even do-gooders have a healthy fear of being eaten by robot sharks, losing their children to Scientology, or you releasing the video from Spring Break 1997 where they sang Savage Garden's "To The Moon and Back" at karaoke.

Read More

3 Things I'm going to do when the Zombie Apocalypse happens

It's been done in movies, TV shows, and twitter jokes, but personally, I think everyone has the wrong fucking idea about what to really do during the zombie apocalypse. Sure, you could load up on guns, finally get a chance to blow away your annoying neighbor (and take back your power tools), and get off work. You'd pretty much need to be stocking up on supplies now to even have a shot at surviving (unless you're Will Smith, anyone else wonder how he pimped out his house to have steel shutters with like ZERO NOTICE of an impending apocalypse?).

In the spirit of accepting your fate as an undead, brain craving asshole; 3 Things I'm going to do when the Zombie Apocalypse happens

1. Get high:

I'm not really an illegal drug user (anymore, goodbye sweet youth), but I imagine if the Apocalypse was closing in on me, I'd pretty much say fuck it. If you could face your fate in sheer horror or giggling in to a bag of Cheeto's, which one would you choose? Exactly. Who's to say Zombies can't get high? A few rounds of puff-puff-pass with the approaching Zombie Hoard and you very well might have some lazy, stoned ass zombies. I can't be fucked to get up and go on a McDonald's run when I'm high, let alone chase after some crazy bitch for her brains.

2. Shoot people I hate:

Murder is wrong, we get it. It's a commandment, it can leave us facing 25 to life (unless you're a cute white girl residing in the state of Florida), but show me a mother fucker who wouldn't love to blow someone they hates head off. You have a dick head boss? Shotgun to the head, it's not murder, it's protecting yourself from zombies. Mother-in-law is a super cunt? Take that bitches head off and yell "SUCK IT". Zombie therapy, if you will. Let out all that rage during your final moments by letting loose a can of whoop-ass on every asshole who has ever pissed you off. War, what is it good for? Killing zombie mother fuckers.

3. Fuck:

The world is about to end in gloom, doom, and brain hungry zombies, I don't care if you're saving it for marriage, get your fuck on (God will understand). Since you've pretty much accepted you're screwed in any attempt to survive, why not enjoy your last few days doing pretty much everyone's favorite pass time? Doing the nasty birth control-less (honestly, why bother?). If you're lucky, your moans and groans will sound like zombie noises and they'll avoid your bedroom. You're mostly just going to die though, but the good news, ladies, is men will finally be chasing after us for our brain!

Read More

Why the woman your mother warned you about is the girl you actually want to marry

I've always been the kind of girl mothers hate. Blame my busty chest, foul mouth, or dirty mind; no matter what I do, I'm "that girl" you've been seeing. Your mother used to dream of her baby boy growing up to marry Betty Crocker meets Barbie, a girl she could confide in and control, and instead got a girl like me.

1. Sex
Do you know why your mother warned you about women like me? Because we like sex. What does your mother want to never imagine her baby doing(yet somehow still give her grandchildren)? Banging the shit out of some girl. It doesn't stop after high school either, your mom is praying up a fantasy girl absolutely no one could live up to. She is hoping for a girl who will spend all her time trying to make her mother in law like her, not one who will spend all her time giving blowjobs and dirty talking. Lucky for us, we're not fucking your mother. Even more lucky is you, the one getting blown and having more sex than you can handle.


2. Fun
The idea marriage means giving up on life is a sad one. In fact, I maintain the reason why 60% of them end in divorce is because most lack 69. They also lack genuine fun. Why would this be a quality to piss off mommy dearest? Because she isn't fun, and if you go off and marry someone fun and start having a good fucking time not being miserable, you point out her flaws. Women dislike their shittiness shoved in their face. Not to mention, the longing looks for an exit strategy from your dad only drive home the fact she's less than everything she pretends.


3. Insanity
In your mothers defense, she probably loves you(unless you're unattractive, no amount of love can make up for that shit), so at least SOME of her warnings aren't without merit. The women your mom warns you about tend to be bat shit fucking insane. We drive wrecklessly, give road head, eat weird foods, swim naked in the beginning scene of Jaws, have sex in positions other than missionary, and generally just do whatever the fuck we like. Does that mean you'll meet some whores? Sure. Mommy calls them whores, I call that gaining professional experience! All about perspective. So you risk losing a kidney during a drunken one night stand or ending up on Maury, LIVE A LITTLE! You know what fun, sex loving women don't like? Pussies, man the fuck up! Crazy is just another word for Down to Fuck! And if keeping things "interesting"(scary) isn't a sexy fun time, I'm too crazy to know what is.

Read More

VIP Escorts

VIP escorts  is a new launching website that offers unique company for men in cities that will change the way men find quality entertainment. Best of all? It's completely free. The website offers large photos, no outside ads, easy navigation. Currently listing 28 cities in the US (and in Toronto, Canada) that have options for you to find quality entertainment in a revolutionary way (more cities are launching, so if your city isn't yet listed, be patient! They're adding them as fast as they can!). This isn't just a website, it's an exciting new platform that makes your fantasies a reality. A ton of testimonals to help you get a feel for what you're diving into, a support section, and of course a Twitter account (which can be found here: https://twitter.com/slixa). Click on their FAQ section (found here: https://www.slixa.com/faq) to get a feel for their easy sign up process and what their services include. Whether you're looking for an escort to an event, a bachelor party, of just a night out VIP ESCORTS has something (or rather someone) for you, offering both female and transexual escorts for all your needs to help you relax.



This post falls under the terms of disclosure

Read More

What to expect when you date a girl from Twitter

Falling in love on the internet is an awesome, yet complicated, thing. You often face distance (course, you never fall for someone who lives 15 minutes away, mostly because Okcupid is filled with herpes) and the challenges that come with a long distance relationship. What many don't think about are the challenges they face aside from not being able to get laid every night.

1: Subtweeting

Hell hath no fury like a woman who has a soapbox to stand and shout from. Showed up late? Canceled a date? Talking to your ex on facebook? Haven't texted her back in 3 hours? Tweet. I was under the impression my followers didn't know the handle of who I was dating (he having around 200 followers), boy was I wrong (and embarrassed) to find out most people do know him. Which, of course, means very time I'm passive aggressively shouting "SOMEONE ISN'T GETTING LAID TONIGHT" everyone is lighting a candle and saying a small prayer for his penis.

2: Psychosis

If you're looking for someone sane, Twitter is not the place to pick up a lover. Then again, we all know crazy women fuck better, so you're welcome

3: Alcoholism

Finding someone on Twitter who doesn't drink is like finding a holiday memory of mine that didn't involve screaming, it just isn't going to happen. Rather than be turned off by her boozing, enjoy the flood of dirty sext-messages, half naked photos, and voice mails about how much she misses blowing you. Sexy, no?

4: People not "getting" your relationship

"I just, like, don't get how you do that, yanno". Oh people and their judgement. So cute. If I wanted someones opinion about who I was dating, I'd give a shit about what my mother had to say. Even if you're in the most splendid of Twitter relationships, expect everyone you never gave a shit about to express their "caring" opinion. I encourage you to go into explicit detail about your self life until they get uncomfortable and shut the fuck up, works every time.

Now go out there and Tweet your way into some pussy!

Read More